Monday, April 6, 2009

Don’t Lie About Shit

This may be a bit disgusting for some people so be warned that what you are about to read may offend. But only if you’re a wet fish.

All human beings have to make number 2. It’s a fact. Some people may know it as other things:

Dropping off the kids
Wrestling the big brown bear
Releasing the prisoner

Even though only guys like to talk about it, we all have to number 2. But the problem is when we’re all done with number 2, we have to wipe our smelly or crusty residue away. So I though it would be funny to ask people if they look at the toilet paper after they’re done with their number 2. You know, as a social experiment. The response is always one of the following:

“Don’t be disgusting”
“You are sick”
“Of course I don’t, I crap strawberries”

This is of course a lie. Everyone has to look. How else will you know you are finished? The human race is in denial. People will accept you if you look.

Now is your moment, this is your time. Change your life. Don’t be a closet looker. If you look, people won’t treat you like a leper or a United supporter.

Everyone shits. Deal with it.

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