Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Rio Carnival Can Save Liverpool

I’d say Liverpool have had a good season. Some will judge a season of silverware, but in terms of entertaining football and goals, I think the season has been good. Some die-hard fans, like me, are still clinging to the tiniest glimmer of hope that we’ll still take the title. Clinging like a 15 year old to his dad’s copy of Hustler.

Many would say Liverpool’s title challenge has gotten weaker and weaker due to way too many draws at Anfield, and I tend to agree, but I think there’s a different reason:

A certain Brazilian with a pony tail/Alice band and two left feet has been wrongfully included in the team, squad, and even the transfer wish list. Hell, I’d even say he was wrongfully included in the Sperm Team that swam through his mother’s lady tunnels, never mind the tunnels of Anfield. His regular inclusion on the teamsheet could have cost us a lot of points because this normally means Mascherano doesn’t play and Lucas will inevitably do the exact opposite of what Mascherano is there to do.

He’s indecisive too:

He can’t make up his mind whether he’s Leiva Lucas or Lucas Leiva. He can’t make up his mind whether he wants a pony tail or a mullet. Most importantly, he can’t make up his mind whether he’s playing for Liverpool or the opposition.

And I must commiserate with Brazilians in general and those who enjoy Brazilian football – there’s no hope for the creators of samba soccer when your under-21 captain is Lucas Leiva/Leiva Lucas, with a ponytail/mullet, who plays his club football for Liverpool/everyone else.

So while I have every hope and belief that Liverpool can still win the title (with a lot of help from United’s next 6 opponents), this will only happen if Lucas Leiva/Leiva Lucas is banned from Melwood, Anfield and the city of Liverpool in general. And as much as I hate United, I, as a Liverpool fan, would love to give them something they would enjoy – coming from behind and taking the title, without Lucas.

So here starts a collection of money to send Lucas Leiva/Leiva Lucas to the Rio Carnival next Feb, where he can get hopelessly drunk and forget about football.

Please let me know if you’re interested and I’ll send you my banking details.

You'll never walk alone, unless you're Lucas Leiva/Leiva Lucas.

1 comment:

Spyker said...

Amen, how can Lucas hope to fill Mascherano's boots when he has such a tough time filling his own?

Lucas Out. Barry In. Ronaldo die.