Monday, August 24, 2009

Funny shit

Apparently some ‘jokers’ in Sydney put super glue on a toilet seat and some guy went to take a kak. He didn’t know he’s be stuck in there for hours.

This guy had to go to the hospital with a toilet seat stuck to his ass, which is not cool. I should hope he flushed the toilet before he went to hospital. The last thing he would’ve wanted was for people to see that he had piles too.

My dad taught me a funny toilet prank when I was 12: cover the toilet with clingwrap and nobody would notice it was there until their urine was ricocheting into their face.

But this one takes the cake. This is possibly the funniest prank I’ve heard of since someone took a wank in the soap dispenser.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Proscrastinating

Lately I've been having some trouble with...

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

KFC FAIL

I love stupid people. Like this woman – her morals have just made me laugh like I’ve been tickled in the ear with a feather duster. She is offended by inoffensive KFC ads. Please also see all the FAILS – just a bit of icing on the funny cake.

Good day,

As a regular consumer of KFC i CAPS FAIL have to bring it to your URGENT attention.KFC's latest two adds SPELLING FAIL on TV that is ABSOLUTALY ABSOLUTE FAIL DISGUSTING and very disturbing.
1)The one of the twister where the lady says "I LOVE YOU" and she is so mean to the poor guy!!! EXCLAMATION FAIL
2)Even more disturbing, were H FAIL the guy takes out KFC and eats in front of the girl without offering and disgustingly tells her to go buy it on her way home for R30.00!!!! Come on!!!! Think of what negative impact it has on people and especialy FAIL kids!!! They had some really GREAT Adds FAIL on that made us want to go and buy KFC. one of many Fantastic adds, the one of the students were WAS WERE FAIL BRILLIANT!!!! Do they really have to go to that extend FAIL for publicity and for better sales????!!!!Well guess WHAT SURPRISE CAPS FAIL, if that's the case and they continue with such disgusting adds FAIL, they will loose FAIL a lot of faithful KFC fans!!!! And I speak on behalf of family and friends too that agrees FAIL 100%.What happened to “CARING & SHARING”. Please do something.?? THIS IS NOT A QUESTION?
Yours Faithful FAILthfully
Mrs. A. Hauptfleisch NAME FAIL

But the biggest fail of all is the reason for the complaint. This chop needs to get a life. Crumbed chop. Chop crumbed with 11 herbs and spices.

While we’re on the topic, it was brought to my attention that nobody knows whether KFC chicken is made with 10 herbs and 1 really good spice, or 5 great herbs and 6 equally kickass spices.

There’s something to think about.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Strike

I follow trends because I’m not cool enough to set trends. Latest trend is striking, so let’s all join the chops from every corner of South Africa and strike.

If you think your college fees are too high, strike.
If you think you’re underpaid, strike.
Fuck, if you think you’re overpaid, strike.
If you think drugs are too expensive, strike.
If you think they’re too cheap, then you’re an idiot, but strike anyway.
If you don’t like the president, strike.
If you’re upset at the colour of the new Smarties, strike.
If you’re pissed off that there’s no Men’s Day, strike.
If you find yourself with a box of matches in your hand, strike.
If you’re a doctor, don’t strike cos that’s murder.
If you think Stuyvesant is getting too expensive, Lucky Strike.
If you hate people who blog, strike.
If you want the day off work, strike.

If the iron is hot, strike.

Virgin for breakfast

When I have a Double K Middle A™ day, I pray for things like this to lift my spirits. What a little gem. The last time a blackboard brought me this much joy was in sex ed class when I giggled every time I saw the word “vagina”.



10% off all Virgin Active members for breakfast. Tough decision. Should I go for good old bacon and eggs or a blonde with fat thighs?

I asked the woman behind the counter if I can choose my sauce depending on what type of Virgin Active member I enjoy.

She said no.

I asked if I could pick my Virgin Active member.

She said no.

I asked if I could have one with less fat around the edges and if she could please put her in the microwave because it wasn’t that hot

She said no.

Then I asked if I could speak to the manager. She said he was at the gym. Probably eating a Virgin Active member.

Nice cheer up though.