I’ve always heard about this happening. After a near-death experience, people change their lives for the better. My life has just flashed before my eyes. I remembered all the bad things I’ve done and the people I’ve hurt. I’ve made a list of resolutions so that I can be a better person. (My Name is Earl):
Tell my loved ones more often that I love them
Make every effort to watch Liverpool at Anfield
Watch Ben Hur
Stop saying the P word to taxi drivers
Give paper money to the guy with the black bag at the robots
Give my change to the little cripple statue at Pick ‘n’ Pay
Cut off Michael Owen’s leg and beat him to death with his own limb
Go to church more than twice a year
Because I care about you and I’d like YOU to also change your life for the better, I’m going to share my near-death experience with you.
With special thanks to Serena Williams and ESPN. Here it is:
God bless you.