Thursday, October 1, 2009


Here’s yet another saying which is about as useful as a cock-favoured lollipop:

"Everything happens for a reason."


It’s one of those things people say to reassure you after you lose your job/house/car/cat or if you had a shit interview. But you end up just laughing at the tit who says it to you

The twin towers just tumbled to the ground. “Everything happens for a reason.”

Er yes, that would be the 2 fuckoff big planes that just flew into them.

I just lost my leg. “Everything happens for a reason.”

Er yes, that would be me playing with a chainsaw under the affluence of incohol.

I didn’t get the job. “Everything happens for a reason.”

Er yes, that’s because I pretended the lady that interviewed me was choking – so I felt her boobs while attempting the Heimlich Manoeuvre. “What are you doing?” she said. I said “What are YOU doing tonight?”

Everything does happen for a reason, but really people, let’s try and stop being so stupid and obvious about it. Fuck.

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