Tuesday, November 24, 2009

David Beckham has a big secret

So iol has this really enticing headline:

David Beckham’s biggest secret revealed.

Shock/horror! What could it be? Oh my God! I have to click this link to see what it is! This could change my life! It may just be the biggest news this week until we find out that Oprah has changed her mind about stopping her piece-of-rubbish show!

This has happened before with celebs:

Aaaaah!!!!! Caster Semenya is a hermaphrodite!

Aaaaah!!!!! Uri Els tickled Robbie Klay’s Willie!

Aaaaah!!!!! Joost has a sex tape with his other Amore!

Aaaaah!!!!! Percy Montgomery moered his wife! (More here)

Aaaaah!!!!! Cristiano Ronaldo drops his anchor in poo bay!
(More here)

Aaaaah!!!!! Hansie fixed cricket matches!

Aaaaah!!!!! Andre Agassi was a tik-monster who wore a wig!

Aaaaah!!!!! Freddie Mercury has AIDS!

Aaaaah!!!!! OJ Simpson killed his wife!

So what could it be? Is he gay? Is does he have a prosthetic ankle? This has the potential to be MASSIVE!

Aaaaah!!!!! David Beckham has Asthma!

Oh my word. I feel so sorry for him. How does he manage to live with that same thing half of the world’s population has. Oh no, poor Posh. And his poor kids. Let’s do a documentary about Becks and his fucking asthma.

Anticlimax FAIL!

Big reveal FAIL!

Breathing FAIL!

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