I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one whose grandparents think they’re always under attack like Basil Fawlty and Ze Germans.
Since I was old enough to understand them, my grandparents and other people in their stupid years, come up with the most ridiculous shit. Stuff that only happens in Mission Impossible.
“Don’t take sweets from the children at school because they put drugs in them and then it gets you hooked, and then you have to go to rehab and people are going to rape you there.”
“Be careful when you take your change after you pay for your parking. The people put ‘AIDS needles’ in there, then it pricks your finger, then you get AIDS.”
“I think someone’s stealing the airtime on my cellphone.”
Trying to teach my grandmother to use a cellphone was like being continuously slapped on the cheek with a 10-inch dildo while being made to listen to Josh Groban on repeat. Painful and traumatising.
I come across this little gem of an old lady forcing her husband to help her hide her pin number at the ATM.
That’s a beautiful thing.
Let’s try and save them by keeping them away from ‘new’ stuff. Like cellphones and ATMs.
Oh and cars.