Thursday, November 12, 2009

SA's got no airtime

Sweet lord above. What the fuck just happened on SA’s Got Talent last night? There were only 2 talented people in the final.

The beatboxer guy was balls-to-the-wall trippy cool:

And the guy on the guitar made me go from 6 to midnight just from listening to him.

15 out of 10 for both of them. But the rest of those chops had as much talent as I have in my infected ingrown toenail with the seeping pus.

There was this little fag who dances like the whore from Little Miss Sunshine.

On a scale of 1 to kak, he’s kak.

There were these bros who put the op in opera - when you listen to them it’s like being in theatre, minus the anaesthetic. And the one brother had that 'sad' story about his girlfriend leaving him and he was tjanking on national television.

Talent rating of 1/10.

Then the winner, a mildly talented dancer who won because he was deaf. Sympathy vote for that and then sympathy vote for his translator, who showed signs of mental handicap and homosexuality. Triple whammy.

Talent rating – 3/10.

But this little bundle of joy brought the house down despite her act being reminiscent of Quasimodo’s bell-ringing in his twilight years. It makes me bring back an old thing me and my friend used to say:

“Jy lielik, gaan koop bunnylicks.”

Talent rating of minus 32.

SA has got talent but it’s like trying to find a piece of hay in a stack full of needles. And judging by those talentless chops in the final, SA hasn’t got talent, SA’s got no airtime to vote.


Spyker said...

The most amazing thing is that you actually sat through the whole show without being physically restrained. I would rather go through the pain of attending a Take That concert (supported by a miming Britney Spears) without the benefit of narcotics than have to watch 10 minutes of this drivel.

I think Sting said it best when describing X Factor:

there goes my outfit said...

'the op in opera' :)

ginger reay said...

I have to agree with Spyker, to be able to sit through all of that, I would either have to be a member of the ANC youth league division sub-par -Z, or Sarah Palin. Not sure which is thicker...

Ranting Adonis said...

I was a special thing Spyker. It makes me realise and appreciate my talents. I bet there's nobody else in SA that can throw salami at people with such accuracy.