Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Hi-fi Corporation

So I’m looking for a TV. Nothing fancy, just something small enough to be cheap and big enough to watch porn on. In search of the perfect television, I went to the Hi-fi Corporation website, where surprisingly, they don’t just sell hi-fis. It’s kind of like Perky Pets:


It’s actually a pet store, not a cat brothel. You get my point.

Hi-fi-Corp actually sells everything from iPods and blank CDs to TVs and cellphones. So I kind of like them: the employees are friendly and knowledgeable about a wide range of stuff. The same can’t be said about their ad agency. Or whichever politician/idiot/United supporter conceptualised this piece of idiocy. See if you can spot the fuckup.

I’ll leave that with you.

Think about it.

OK fuckit. Since when do you need airtime to take a picture? Is this some new cellphone thing I haven’t heard about? Or is ad industry slowly being taken over by nutfucks who couldn’t sell a black cat to a witch?

Adverting qualifications cost money and take time, but common sense is free. Like condoms. But maybe some people got those condoms with staples in them.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

A little girl who found Jesus

I see this kind of thing so often, yet it still warms the cockles of my heart when it happens. We’ve seen drug dealers, crackwhores, thieves and even Manchester United supporters find Jesus and turn their lives around.

But this little girl was different. She was always the quiet one, her parents’ only child and 10 years younger than any of her cousins. Her only friends were cheap-ass imitations of Barbie and Ken. But some of her parents’ buddies would let her drink with them, even though she was only six years old. There she sat weekend after weekend getting pissed out of her skull with 30 somethings, destined to become a dirty crack-smoking smelly pirate hooker.

But then, as it so often happens, she found Jesus.